At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
