ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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