he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize