Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Still dying that you shit outside
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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