I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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