We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize