My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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