I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
