I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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