i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize