We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
