32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
