No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
