I'm going to jail i love you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
