I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
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