I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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