Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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