DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
