Can i not drive my cunt home
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
