so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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