your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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