Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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