So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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