grandma shit on top of the toilet
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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