A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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