Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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