I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
