We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize