we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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