listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
