nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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