yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
