we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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