I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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