she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
