I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
