I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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