Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
