there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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