I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
