just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
