I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You smell like stripper and shame
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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