It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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