...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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