sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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