It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
