Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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