at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
