we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
