so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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