you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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