i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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