You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
