Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
