god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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