Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
