sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
