I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize