its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was CRYING into my vagina
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
