i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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