i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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