I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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