you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's shark week go big or go home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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