People in love make me want to vomit
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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