If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
