ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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