As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
